Who is to blame?
You are to blame! … Or not?
Even if we are not quite sure what is happening, we usually know directly who or what is to blame. When our money is no longer enough to heat our homes, we know it’s the fault of the politicians and the lousy job.
And because demonstrating hasn’t worked so far, because the stupid politicians don’t understand that they are stupid, we are annoyed. Also about the boss, who should slowly understand what we do. But he prefers to pocket the money himself. What an ass.
The tax office is also to blame, by the way, and the health insurance company. And the media anyway, with their lies. The general economic situation is also to blame and the capitalists who got us there. Or was it the socialists? Or the Nazis? No matter. Guilt.
And when some shaman comes along and talks about personal responsibility and how I can step out of my role as a victim, then he’s probably off his rocker. Everyone could create their own life the way they want. He’s out of his mind. If I am raped, am I to blame myself?
Or if there’s a landslide and I’m in a wheelchair and the exit door is stuck because the volcano is also erupting, then I’m probably to blame too? Did I manifest this myself or what? And the children starving in Africa, he probably has no idea what real life is like, he’s sitting in his Spirit Tower and I could solve my problems with his prices … ok, I get it. Let me explain:
An example
An example from my own life comes to mind. I haven’t always been a shaman, I started my career in the chemical industry. I know, it’s not shamanic at all and at the beginning it was really low in terms of salary. So much for “with prices like that I could …” I could do without. But that’s not the point.
During this time, I was responsible for quality management at a chemical distributor for several years. It was a lot about processes and, of course, the mistakes that happened from time to time.
An unloved task of a quality manager is to take care of these errors, namely all errors that occur throughout the company. So I was more or less often given so-called error logs and then I had to find out what had happened, why it had happened and – very importantly – how it could be prevented in future.
As you can guess from reading it, it was quite often about guilt. The customer makes a complaint and of course contacts the sales representative with his complaint. The sales department is angry because the error happened in the warehouse and blames the warehouse. The warehouse is angry because the error only happened because the shipping department didn’t write out the papers correctly. The shipping department is angry because the sales department has passed on unclear instructions. What the sales department vehemently rejects is that the instructions would have been crystal clear, they would have written an email. But the apprentice from the dispatch department didn’t forward it, so it’s his fault. No, he didn’t, because that wouldn’t have been his job and the warehouse could have thought along with him, because they really always make this mistake …
Do you see where this is going? Certainly not to a solution. In the end, there was indeed bitter trench warfare between the individual departments in this company. Because once an accusation is made, people hit back and in the end the situation escalates.
This eats up time, money and nerves. Above all nerves. Especially the nerves of the quality manager.
The solution
And there were indeed solutions. The case described above with the complaint was not invented, it actually happened. Several times, with the same error and, stupidly, even several times with the same customer. Some of my gray hair started back then.
If the departments had been left to their own devices, at some point they would have gone at each other with machetes and the customer would have simply bought from the competition. Well, the management knew how to prevent the former, but the solution came from a completely different direction.
Neither the sales department, nor the dispatch department, nor the warehouse, nor the trainee were “to blame” and the solution was not found there either. This lay in changing the process on which all the actions were based. A few changes to the IT system, a few new work instructions, a short training session so that everyone knew how things should work in future and the error was gone.
What do we learn from this?
It does you absolutely no good to know who is to blame. Regardless of whether someone is at fault or not, it’s always about finding the solution! And this is often not at all where someone seems to be doing something wrong.
The solution often does not lie with the people involved. In the example, the process was simply not optimal because the requirements had changed over time. In other situations, information may be missing or – and this is very common – you simply can’t see where the solution might be because you only know part of the whole.
This was not visible to those involved in the example above. This is because neither the sales department, nor the warehouse, nor the dispatch department and certainly not the trainee usually know the overall context. They all know their job and the interfaces to the others. Nothing more, because nobody can know their day-to-day business AND the big picture. That is simply asking too much.
That’s why there was someone like me back then, the quality manager. My job was not to know all the details, but to understand the entire process. And that’s how I found the solution. A solution that none of the parties involved could have found.
And what does that have to do with me?
You may be asking yourself that now. But be honest, how often do you blame someone for something? Your partner, your children, your colleagues, your boss, politics, Mercury retrograde, your ancestors or even yourself?
We humans do this all the time, we don’t even realize it anymore. Realize this and then take a step back in your mind and think about what a solution could look like.
The solutions
Of course, not everyone has the exclusive opportunity of a quality manager to simply adapt the processes. In our lives, we are often confronted with forces that simply seem overpowering.
All too often we feel completely powerless and then we can’t because … For this to happen, this and that would first have to happen, this and that person would have to realize their injustice or the masses would have to “wake up”. Besides, we are single parents, work 50 hours a week anyway and have no money for someone to help. And he only wants to sell something anyway. In short: nobody can help us! That’s right! Nothing to do!
Often we even seem to know the solution, we certainly do. We already know exactly who needs to change to make it work. The person would just have to realize that. Or we would first have to earn more money, have more vacation, more time, more something. But as long as the others keep us down …
Stop!
Can you tell? It’s like the sales department blaming the bearing, even though it wasn’t the bearing’s fault. Nothing changes this way, you’re like an engineer with building blocks.
The solution
Take another step back and look at what you can influence. Which players in this game can YOU influence without having to rely on them to change?
There is usually just one and that is YOU.
“Yes, then it’s my fault again, isn’t it”, “that was obvious” … NO! You are not. It’s not about who is to blame, but who can initiate the solution. It’s about starting where you can. And that is always with you. And yes, you can. This is often even possible without booking me. Just replace “I can’t afford that” with “How can I afford that?” … you’ll be amazed at what that alone will do.
The advantage
The big advantage is that you don’t have to wait for anyone. You don’t need permission, no one is holding you back and you can do whatever you want.
And you can get help so that you have someone who has an overview. You can hire your own quality manager. Or a shaman and coach. Someone who can look very deeply at the spiritual level and show you solutions that you didn’t even have on your radar.
Of course, you can always implement all of this yourself, but you can do it because you implement it within yourself. Because that’s where the solution is. Inside you.
Even the solution for the evil state, the evil capitalists, socialists, communists, right-wingers, left-wingers, inflation, your lousy job, your stupid boss, your narcissistic partner and so on.
The solution is always within you!
What to do?
Go out and work on yourself. And immediately. No, not just when the money is there, the business is running again, you’re in the mood. These are all hidden accusations again. Sure, you can use the qualities of time, not every action makes sense at all times.
But make sure that you use the time qualities productively and not because they are to blame for something.